Why You Need a Period Sex Plan

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Periods suck…period. There are many frustrating parts to this time of the month, especially when it comes to your sex life. If you and your spouse are regularly having sex, periods can put an abrupt stop to that.

I know that period time can cause a lot of issues between a couple when their sexual needs are not being met. That is why putting together a period sex plan is so important.

What if One Spouse Doesn’t Want To?

I know plenty of couples that have decided together that period week is a time to abstain from meeting one another’s sexual needs. They feel that during that time, they can connect in other ways other than sexual. If that is your marriage, great!

Then, there are couples where one or the other has decided that the week is off limits for physical intimacy. This puts the person that has the sexual need in a bad place. This disagreement can lead to arguing, resentment, tension, anger, secretive masturbation, and other negative emotions in the relationship.

They Can’t Just Deal

I know what you are thinking- “They can deal without orgasm for a week. It’s not that long.”. From their perspective, it is an eternity. Not being able to connect with you in that way is enough to drive them crazy.

Instead of stonewalling your spouse about their pleads for sexual intimacy, come up with a solution that you can both work with. That’s why a period sex plan can be so beneficial.


Develop a Period Sex Plan

Before the next period time rolls around, you and your spouse should have a plan of how you are going to take care of one another’s sexual needs. Just because it’s that time of the month, doesn’t mean you can’t be sexually intimate with one another. You will just need to be creative.

Here’s what you need to decide together-

When’s The Best Time For Sexual Intimacy?

Some women are not going to feel well enough to give or receive physical pleasure on their heaviest days. Scheduling intimacy before or after the first day or two will likely work best for you and your spouse.

How Often Will You Be Intimate?


This is another area where you both need to be clear on expectations. Work together and come up with a number that will work for the two of you. Be sure to eliminate the days that the period is the heaviest as a possibility if that is an issue for you.

You might even consider coming up with a sort of schedule. For example, say you’ll be intimate the day spotting occurs. After that, the 3rd day and the 5th day of the cycle.

What Will Your Sexual Encounters Consist of?

If one spouse has no desire to orgasm during the period cycle, they can choose to meet the needs of their spouse solely. Regardless of whether or not you both want to orgasm, figure out what you are both comfortable with doing during this time.

Many people are not ok with having intercourse when there is blood flowing. That’s totally understandable. If that’s you, then consider these ideas:

  • Sex with a male condom or female condom on- this will reduce the mess and cleanup.
  • Use a sex toy- a woman can wear a tampon to keep the blood flow from being a problem while her husband uses a vibrator on her. For a man, penis sleeves can be a good option to be pleased by their wife.
  • Mutual masturbation- this might be a great time for you and your spouse to have a mutual masturbation session. Both of you can please yourself with the method you choose while watching the other person.
  • Hand stimulation- each of you can take turns pleasing the other with your hand.
  • Oral sex- this is a good solution for a wife to please their husband. Even with a tampon in, I wouldn’t suggest this as a viable option for a husband to give his wife.

Work together to come up with ideas of what to do to please the other during the period week. You may find that you enjoy switching things up during this time.


2 Comments on Why You Need a Period Sex Plan

  1. A couple thoughts or questions: When my husband and I first married we tried having sex during my period. I got a UTI almost every time. We held back for a while chalking it up to my getting used to everything. After a while we tried again (I think more than once) and I ended up with a UTI. We are definitely ok with mutually pleasing each other but I use our story as a lead in to a more sensitive question: why isn’t abstinence an ok option (or something to be pursued) within specific situations? I think of the Old Testament law that forbade husbands from having intercourse with their wives while their wives were on their periods or recovering from childbirth. I definitely don’t believe that is a law for us today, but at one point in history God was ok with and expected abstinence within marriage for a definable time frame. Has anyone explored how abstinence rather than masturbation could be an option for very specific health reasons? I’ll admit up front – I am the lower drive spouse – so I’m not trying to insist on something, just explore it. I do know my husband has practiced abstinence for 3-4 weeks during both of my pregnancies because just arousal was enough to send me into pre-term labor. I couldn’t even please him manually. It wasn’t easy for him (it wasn’t my first choice either but with being huge and uncomfortable it wasn’t as difficult for me to say “no” 🙂 .) Masturbation wasn’t an acceptable option for either of us because of reasons already mentioned by other posters and in your masturbation article. The Bible clearly teaches that regular intimacy should be the norm within a marriage but is it unreasonable to ask for abstinence in very specific situations? This post fits with the masturbation topic and this topic.

    • Great points you make! Oh yes, abstinence does have a place in your marriage. Whenever you aren’t having sex with your spouse, you are definitely being abstinent. 😀 I think that every couple has to make this decision for themselves. I agree, when you and your spouse are unable to be physically intimate for any reason, it is challenging to the couple. I don’t think it is unreasonable to say no, but I just encourage each couple to really work through it together. Decide if taking care of sexual needs during period week or whenever is a good fit for the couple. You might get to the end of that discussion and decide as a couple that abstinence is best. The problem comes in where one person is genuinely struggling with the abstinence, and the other person is unwilling to hear them out.

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