Healthy relationships move forward. Couples should always try to communicate better, be deeper friends, have more passionate romance and hotter sex. This last area can be tricky sometimes. How can we make sex hotter?
What if you try focusing on one area at a time? Focus on your go-to position. Or maybe get together a list of new positions. How about kicking your oral sex up a notch? Let’s take a look at a few things that can help make oral sex better.
Ease into things
It can help to start slow when it comes to oral sex. Such direct stimulation can be overwhelming if you don’t ease into things. Foreplay can help tremendously with this.
Foreplay gets all the appropriate systems booted up. You’re more prepared mentally. You connect deeply with your spouse. Most importantly, blood flow increases and gets both the man and the woman physically ready for stimulation.
You probably know we are big advocates of bedroom games as a helpful tool for sensual foreplay. In regard to oral sex, I find that kissing is a natural warm-up for oral sex. We put together a few themed card games, and the first one we created was centered on kissing. It’s called Kiss Me I’m Irish and has a St. Patrick’s Day theme, but it can used any time of the year.
Try new positions
Switching up positions isn’t just for intercourse. Oral sex can be enhanced by tryingnew positions too. Different positions can help the giver have better access. It can also help the receiver activate different muscle groups or open up the right parts for better stimulation.
There’s lots of basic changes you can make that can give you a different experience. Try sitting up, standing, or reclining. While lying down, put a pillow or wedge under your hips to rock your hips backward. Get on your knees or all fours with your spouse under you (specifically the ladies).
Get creative and try whatever comes to mind!
While giving, be enthusiastic and be willing to go further. Guys, really get in there. Explore her whole area. Use more than your tongue. Use your fingers, lips, and yeah, maybe some of your face.
Ladies, try to take him in deeper. If you find you throat reacting negatively, take it slow. Don’t assume you’ll get him all the way in on the first try. You may be able to do this already, but everyone’s gag reflex is different. Every time, try to take him in a little more. This may take a long time, even years honestly. You may also consider using a numbing spray to cut the learning curve out altogether.
When experimenting, always talk to each other. You can discuss ahead of time something you want to try or have your spouse try. Talk during sex as well – tell your spouse what feels good to you, or ask your spouse what’s working and what’s not. Talk afterwards about what was exciting, what was “meh,” and what you really didn’t like. And keep talking about it.
The important thing is to keep moving forward. Always be willing to try new things. Don’t be afraid to tell your spouse about something you’re interested in. And keep an open mind when your spouse is telling you about something.