The other day on Periscope, I tackled a series of questions about sex and what’s ok or not ok in the bedroom. I know that a lot of people are asking what’s ok to do and what isn’t for Christians.
There are a few things that I will take a hard stance on, but many foreplay moves, I think you and your spouse have to figure that out.
Here are the questions I answered.
Is Porn Ok To Watch?
This is one of those things that I take a hard and fast stance on as being wrong. The Bible tells us in Matthew 5:28- But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
I don’t think you can look at porn without lusting after the people you are watching. Also, I believe that bringing porn into the bedroom is allowing a third party in your sex life, which is wrong.
Check out what Jay Dee at Sex Within Marriage has to say about the harmful effects of porn in marriage.
Are Threesomes Ok?
Again, this is a big no according to the scriptures. Allowing another person into your room is against God’s design for sex.
Should I Give a Rim Job or Receive One?
If you aren’t familiar with what a rim job is, it is when you stimulate the area around your partner’s butt hole. I do not personally see anywhere in the scripture that prohibits this, but I would highly caution against it for health concerns. This is an area of the body that is full of bad bacteria, and neither one of you want to get sick from your sex life.
Is Anal Sex Ok?
Some people have a problem with anal sex, because of Sodom and Gomorrah in the Bible. If you have a moral apprehension to this on account of that, then I would say it isn’t right for you. I don’t personally hold the belief that this is wrong according to the Bible.
You do need to think about how you will clean yourself up after this sex act. Also, you will need to determine if it will damage your anus. Those that have hemorrhoid flare ups may cause a problem by having anal sex.
If you want to do this, then you should be cautious to not hurt your spouse and to clean up well. If you plan to have vaginal sex afterwards, you need to make sure that everyone is very clean so you don’t spread bacteria.
Should You Swallow Your Husband’s Semen?
There is nothing wrong scripturally with this. I’ve done some research, and I can’t find any health reason why this would be harmful to you. If your husband really wants you to try and you don’t have a problem with it, then you could give it a go.
Are Sex Toys Ok In The Bedroom?
Some people are morally opposed to sex toys of any kind. I think that there are some realistic toys out there that you should stay away from. I think there are other sex toys out there that are able to help a couple orgasm or feel more excited.
Depending on the toy, it might help a man get and keep an erection. Others can help a woman reach orgasm if she is having a hard time other ways.
If you do decide to introduce toys into your time together, you should make clear boundaries that the toys should only be used together. Also, you should not replace PIV sex with toys. If you are finding that your spouse prefers the toy over having sex with you, then it is time to get rid of them.
Toys are not a good choice for every couple, but some find it to really enhance their time together.
Is Masturbation in Marriage Ok?
I don’t think there is anything wrong with masturbating as long as your spouse is with you or has a knowledge of what you are doing. Let me clarify myself here. I do not think that masturbation should ever take place of sex on a regular basis or become the preferred method of orgasm. However, I think that it can be used to enhance your time together.
If you do chose to masturbate apart from each other, it should only be on account of separation. This is not a good option for everyone, but if you and your spouse are ok with it, then you need to set up good boundaries.
The most important thing to remember here is that nothing should be done in secret. If you are doing things in secret, then you are putting yourself in a bad position in your marriage.
Should You Give One Another Oral Sex?
I wholeheartedly suggest that couples consider giving one another oral sex on occasion. Unless there is baggage from sexual abuse or some other big hangup, then you should at least consider it with each other. It is a very intimate act that you can engage in with one another.
Check out the tips I have on how to get more comfortable with giving and receiving oral sex.
When it comes to trying out new things in the bedroom, you and your spouse need to come to an agreement about it. Neither spouse should force the other one to do something that they are not ok with. You have the right to say no.
However, if you are saying no and it is not for moral reasons, you owe it to yourself to try it once. You might find that you actually like it!
These are just some of the things that I have been asked about sex and I wanted to answer them. If you don’t agree with me, I totally get that! This is such a sensitive subject and I hope you’ll do what you believe the Lord is asking of you.
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