Learning to Sexy Talk With Your Spouse

Sexy talking is pretty new to me. It’s only been in the last two years that I tried out. I was hesitant about ever doing something like this, because I didn’t want to feel ashamed.

You should know that I have only had sex with my husband. What I have experienced to help me feel comfortable with sexy talk may not translate to those who are not in a committed relationship.

Decide What Sexy Talk Means To You

One thing that I did to help me feel comfortable with sexy talk was to start out by defining what it meant. I honestly didn’t know what to say. In fact, before I tried it out, I didn’t even understand why it was a thing.

A conversation took place between us where we established what kinds of words were ok to say in the bedroom. Before then, I really didn’t know what to say while we were having sex. Figuring out our own bedroom language became was an intimate journey.

By talking with my husband about what words would be ok to say while we were together, I felt 100 times more comfortable with it.  

Determine Which Words to Use in The Bedroom

Sexy talking is pretty new to me. It’s only been in the last two years that I tried out. I was hesitant about ever doing something like this, because I didn’t want to feel ashamed.

What is ok for me and my spouse, may not work for you and your spouse. That is why I created a bedroom language worksheet to help you guys work it out.

For me, I lacked creativity, and basically needed a script. By hashing it out ahead of time, it has helped me to be more spontaneous in the moment. I find it difficult to be sexy on the spot. I need a little help in that department.

Another thing that really helped me learn to talk sexy, was to practice. It was ok for me to say virtually the same things every time we got together. Over time, we have been able to to expand our bedroom language.

If you want to add this dimension to your lovemaking, start out slow. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your lover. The whole purpose of sexy talk is to make you feel sexy and share that feeling with your spouse.

Dirty Talk Resource

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For a more in depth look at sexy talk, check out Jay Dee’s book, Introduction to Dirty Talk: a how-to for Christian couples looking to be more vocal in the bedroom.

Other things on my mind this week:

Check me out at The Power of Purity Podcast where I talk about Better Sex in Marriage. This is part 1 of my interview.

When is the last time you thanked your spouse?

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