How to Get Over The Gross Factor of Oral Sex

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Some people really struggle with oral sex, because they think some or all of it is a little bit gross. I can totally empathize with that. It takes a lot to get comfortable with someone putting their face down there.

If you or your spouse feel grossed out about giving and/or receiving oral sex, here are some things you can do.

Wash all over down there

Take the time to wash up with water and soap if need be. You can take time in the shower together or use a wet cloth to clean yourself. Once you are both clean, it can help you to relax.

Use a fragrance


In addition to cleaning yourself, consider using a fragrance to feel fresher. Let’s be honest here, putting your face near someone’s butt can be off putting, no matter how clean they are.

Be sure that when you are spraying yourself with a body spray or using scented lotion, that you stay away from areas that your spouse is going to lick.

Tell yourself it isn’t gross

This can be a mind over matter type of thing. Start telling yourself that it isn’t gross to receive or give oral sex. Changing your thoughts from negative to positive can make a big difference.


Get really aroused

When you get really aroused, you are much more willing to be adventurous in the bedroom. Spend time in foreplay getting yourself excited so that you can let your inhibitions down.

Try different oral sex positions

If it makes you feel weird to have your legs spread wide open while your spouse is giving you oral, consider a different position. A standing position can feel great and be less exposing.

Don’t be afraid to speak up


Unless you tell your spouse what they are doing that causes you to feel grossed out, then they will not know what to do differently. Don’t be afraid to share what you are feeling.

Here’s a few things you may deal with when it comes to feeling gross about this type of sex:

  • Smells- if you need them to freshen up more, let them know. I know it can be a bit embarrassing to address that issue, but it’s better than never having oral.
  • Sounds- sometimes slurping sounds happen during oral. You can point out that the noise makes you feel turned off. Whatever sounds are causing you to feel grossed out, find ways to reduce it.
  • Hair- licking hair can feel pretty gross. Let your spouse know what areas you need them to groom so that you can feel more comfortable with this type of sex.
  • Too wet- some people think that receiving oral is gross because it makes them really wet down there. If that is the case for you, ask your spouse to not lick around as much. They can still please you by staying focused on areas that feel great.
  • The urge to fart– during sex of any kind, you can get the urge to have to fart. It can cause you to feel really self-conscious about receiving oral. If this is an issue for you, then tell your spouse you need a break for a minute and you’ll be right back. Go to the bathroom and take care of yourself.

You can also read more about how to feel more comfortable with oral sex in this blog post-

Feel More Comfortable Pleasing Each Other With Mouths


These are some of the ways that you can get over the gross factor you feel towards oral sex.


4 Comments on How to Get Over The Gross Factor of Oral Sex

  1. That was very explicit, graphic, and practical. Made me snicker!!

  2. This was a struggle for me to receive until very recently, and I’ve been married ten years. I took it off the table altogether but my husband kept gently asking me why when it was something he wanted to do. I said because it’s gross! Because *I* am gross down there. So I learned to trim, to wash, and to apply a very thin layer of coconut oil so I feel fresh and don’t get worried about him being grossed out. We started very slow and the first time my hubby just looked (no touching) and happened to say “You’re beautiful.” That was the turning point for me. What I thought was gross my hubby found beautiful. After that it became a “just do it” type thing. The more we did the less grossed out I would feel, not to mention that we would both learn what I liked and didn’t like, so we gradually eliminated the turn offs and turned up the turn ons. It still takes me a while to let go in the beginning and stop worrying about if my husband is uncomfortable or not enjoying it, but we’ve come a long way and now I’m a big fan!

    • That’s such a great story. Thanks for sharing! It’s a true struggle for many. I’m so glad you’re starting to enjoy it more. It can take a lot of effort, but be totally worth it.

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