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Rock Your Sex Life With These Black Friday Deals

I bet you’ve seen a lot of Black Friday and Cyber Monday roundups over the last few days…at least I know I have. I’m a bit of deal hound to say the least. But, I haven’t seen any real roundups of deals that will help you have a better sex life- so here ya go.

Love Hope Adventure Shop

If you didn’t know, Love Hope Adventure, my sister site, has a shop. You can get 50% off of your order in our shop between now and Monday at midnight. Use the coupon code blackfriday at checkout. You can see our large selection of printable bedroom games and other printables. Go to my store here.

Married Dance Christian Friendly Sex Toy Store

Married Dance is a Christian friendly sex toy store that I trust. They have porn free packaging and images on the website. You can also see their great description of the different items in the store. Use my coupon code love at checkout to get 15% off your order. Go here to see what they sell.

Uncovering Intimacy Games

Uncovering Intimacy put two of their spicy games on sale. They are 50% off the regular price when you go to checkout. No coupon code required. See those two products here.

4 Marriage Bed Tips Round-up

Are you looking for some new ways to spice up your sex life? There’s many fun things you can do to make sex feel better for you or your spouse. I put together a round-up of marriage bed tips you can try.

1. Button Rub Intercourse Technique

Marriage Bed Tips suggests that you use the button rub technique in order to stimulate a wife’s clitoris during sex. God designed a woman to have 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris. If you haven’t taken time to really get to know your anatomy, it is important that you and your spouse explore.

Check out the detailed instructions of how to get more stimulation during intercouse in their post-

The Button Rub Intercourse Technique

2. A Day of Sex

I’m so glad that my friend Jay Dee wrote about his experience with having a day of sex with his wife. He came up with the idea and figured out some rules that he and his wife played by during the day. It was a really great experience for them.

If you want to try it with your spouse, then check out his post here-

A Day of Sex

How to dirty talk

3. Husband’s Hands When Wife is On Top

El Fury put together a great post about what a husband can do with his hands while his wife is on top of him during sex. If your wife isn’t one that likes an on top position, she may reconsider if you add in some of these ideas.

Head over and check out his round-up here-

Husband’s Hands When Wife is On Top

4. Foreplay Moves That Will Actually Turn You On

If you are like me, then you’re tired of reading “how to spice it up” posts that tell you to do one of three horrible things- watch porn, masturbate, or have a threesome. That’s why I wrote a post full of ideas that are actually healthy for your marriage.

Check out my full list of foreplay moves here-

 

Foreplay Moves That Will Actually Turn You On

 

What marriage bed tips would you add to the list? Leave me a comment!

Sexy truth or dare bedroom game

Can You Have Sex All Day Long?

My friend Jay Dee from Uncovering Intimacy shared about his experience of having sex all day long. He wrote a post about it and mapped out exactly what he did and gave some recommendations of how you can also do the same thing.

What I really loved about this is that he was so creative with his spouse. He heard an idea and retro-fitted it to work with his specific life situation.

If you want to get some ideas of how you can have sex all day long, then check out his post over at Uncovering Intimacy.

 

A Day of Sex

 

How to Be More Enthusiastic In The Bedroom

I had a reader ask me to share ways they could be more enthusiastic in the bedroom. This is a tough thing for lower drive spouses. Since they don’t always feel excited, they can struggle to be enthusiastic about love making.

Here’s what you can do to be more enthusiastic-

1. Admit That You Enjoy Sex

It is so important that you admit that you personally enjoy sex. This is different than saying you like having sex for your spouse’s sake. Instead, you need to embrace how sex makes you feel. Let yourself get excited about the emotions and feelings you receive from the sexual experience you have together.

2. Define What Enthusiasm Looks Like

Here’s one of those words that you really must define as a couple. As Austin and I were talking about our definition of enthusiasm, it’s completely different.

This is what he considers enthusiastic-

  • Initiate sexual encounters
  • Talk about how to have better sex
  • Make noises and share emotion
  • Not just laying there

Those are pretty reasonable expectations of what it looks like to be enthusiastic.

Me, on the other hand, have much greater ideas of what enthusiasm looks like. When I think enthusiastic, I envision taking a lot of time to look sexy, making a grand entrance, and being really energetic.

If Austin says to me, I would like you to be more enthusiastic, and I base it off of my definition, then I might very well feel overwhelmed. But, since I know what his expectations are, they don’t seem unrealistic.

The same goes for him. If I were to ask him to be more enthusiastic, he would know what to shoot for.    

3. Create One Goal To Shoot For

To be more confident in your sex life, you need small wins. So, set yourself up to win. Come up with one small goal to shoot for. If you spouse says that if you make noises, they’ll know you’re being enthusiastic, then make that your goal.

Decide that you are going to make an effort to make noise during your next 3 sexual encounters. See where it goes from there. You don’t have to check off everything from the list, just do one thing.

4. Have Accountability

have accountability for your sex goals

I know that accountability in the area of sex is not easy. We don’t tend to share our personal struggles in this part of our lives. This is a place we need to get better as Christian couples. Instead of thinking we can handle everything ourselves, we should be confiding in others that are trustworth.

There’s a few ways you can develop accountability. Here’s a few ideas-

  • Schedule sex ahead of time
  • Write down your goals in a place you will see it (but your kids won’t find it out)
  • Keep a journal with your experiences
  • Set a reminder on your phone
  • Tell a friend you trust

Don’t have anyone you can discuss sex with? That’s why we created the Love Hope Adventure Community. The group is filled with people that are comfortable talking about sexual intimacy as well as other sensitive marriage topics.

You can get on the list to join the community below-

5. Play Bedroom Games

Bedroom games take the guesswork out of foreplay and sexual adventure. Austin and I created our first bedroom game before we were bloggers. In fact, we made it for some of our dearest friends.

Of course, we had to try out our finished product. We were blown away at how playing that first sexy bedroom game revolutionized our sex lives. We had a really great sex life at that point, but the games took it to the next level.

The reason the games help so much, is that it takes the pressure off of you. All you have to do is follow the prompts and enjoy yourself. You can check out our games in our shop.

join the love hope adventure community

 

How to Approach Your Spouse After They Have Refused Something Sexual

Have you tried to go to your spouse regarding something sexual that you want to try and been shot down? I think this is pretty common in marriages. There could be any number of reasons that this happens. So, what do you do if you want to try to ask again?

Here’s a few tips to help you have the conversation again.

Be Patient and Give Time

For one thing, you need to be patient and give your spouse time. Let at least a few months pass before you bring this up again. I know that may be a long time to wait, but if you come back to them too quickly, it can sound pushy. You want to handle this gently, because if you don’t, you can make it worse.

Become Adventurous In Other Things

If your spouse is one that already struggles to be adventurous in the bedroom, then you need to work on that concept. Find something out of the usual that they do want to try and start there. If they are a person that just never wants to experiment sexually, then consider going outside of intimacy and do things in life that are adventurous.

Work together to become more adventurous as a couple in different aspects of your life and it will open the doors to more adventure in the bedroom.

Have The Conversation in a Non-Threatening Setting

One of the reasons that your spouse may shoot you down about something new, is that you sprung it on them in the middle of sex. Some people need time to be mentally prepared to do things out of the ordinary. Rather then approaching your spouse right before a sexual encounter, you should have the conversation in a non-sexual setting.

Find Out Their Hangups

There’s likely a reason they shot you down. It’s important that you figure out why they did. What’s their hangup?

These are some possible reasons-

  • Moral objection
  • Feel embarrased
  • Hygiene concerns
  • Thinks it will be painful
  • Makes them feel dirty

Really listen to why they don’t want to try the new thing. Maybe there is a way you can work together as a couple to overcome those hangups. Ask them if they have any ideas of how they can get over those ideas and try it. Again, stay patient with them.

Be Thankful For What You Have Together

It can be really easy to focus on what you don’t have versus what you do have. Be really intentional about thanking your spouse for the things they do that please you. If they feel like they keep putting themselves out there, and all you do is bring up what they don’t want to do, it won’t go over well.

Hopefully some of these ideas will help you out when going back to your spouse about a sensitive topic. If you want to be a part of discussions like this, join us in the Love Hope Adventure Community. Sign up for the newsletter below and we will send you instructions of how to join the community.

Don’t Have Sex FOR Your Spouse Have Sex WITH Your Spouse

I’ve been taken back by the number of conversations I’ve had about sex where the person I’m talking to says something like this-

“I need to get better about sex for my spouse”.

I’m sorry- but if you take on that attitude, you’re gonna fail. Besides, your spouse can tell the difference if you are having sex for them, verses with them.

Having sex FOR your spouse comes across as an obligation- not something you are are going to get any benefit from. However, if you decide you want to have sex WITH your spouse, then it becomes a mutually beneficial thing.

9 times out of 10, your motivation for sex should be to invest in the intimacy of your marriage. Sure, there are going to be some times when you are putting aside your preferences and giving your spouse something that they really need. But, if you make your sex life a full diet of just, “doing it FOR my spouse”…you’re gonna fail and all kinds of resentment will happen on both sides of the equation.

Why not commit to making your sexual interactions something you do WITH your spouse. Take them off your chore list.

How to Orgasm With a Vibrator

Ograsms are complicated for many women. Just because you can reach climax one way, doesn’t mean you can reach it through a different method. Having only one way to orgasm can be discouraging for some women. Not being able to reach that point at all is even more discouraging.

I’m going to assume that if you are reading this, then you aren’t against sex toys. If you are, then this isn’t an article for you.

I want to give you a few tips on using a vibrator to achieve orgasm with your spouse. Just as a side note, I’m of the opinion that there’s no place for solo sex in marriage. I define solo sex as giving yourself sexual pleasure without your spouse around or their knowledge of what’s happening.

Picking the Right Toy

Choosing the right vibrator is the difficult part. You might be able to orgasm with one variety over another. This is where the trial and error (and unfortunately, expense) comes in. If you pick one toy that doesn’t work for you, that doesn’t mean you should trash it. It may mean you need more practice, or to try something different.

 

Here’s a quick look at the different types of vibrators-

Bullets

egg and bullet vibrator

A bullet is egg shaped and typically has a simple control. You can increase or decrease the vibrations and that’s about it. The bullet is a great first toy, because it is not complicated to use, and generally, they are cheap.

The bullet vibrators can be rubbed over the clitoris or even inserted into the vagina. Some women may like to have two so that one can be inserted while the other one is rubbed on them.

This is also a good solution if you are struggling to get the right stimulation for rear entry positions.

The downside to bullets is that they are really slippery. All sex toys should be covered in lubrication before use, to keep irritation from occurring. Holding a slimy, vibrating ball can be a bit challenging.

Vibrating Penis Rings

penis ring vibrator

The vibrating penis ring is meant to go on your husband and positioned to stimulate you during sex. It is important to note that your husband may have a hard time getting the ring on his penis if he is fully erect. He should put it on with lubrication prior to becoming too stimulated.

Dual Action

rabbit vibrator for women

A dual action vibrator has a wand that is inserted into the vagina. It also has a vibrating rabbit, or some other type of stimulation on the outside. That is designed to be held against the clitirous and moved around.

Depending on the style, this sex toy may have a vibrator in the wand as well as the rabbit on the outside. The one with the vibrator on the outside usually offer greater stimulation and more vibration variety.

Massagers

Vibrator massager for women

The vibrating massager is similar to a bullet or egg vibrator. The good thing about this type is that it is easier to hold onto than an egg depending on the type of stimulation you are trying to give.

These are just a few of the types of vibrators you can get. Check out the selection at Married Dance. I trust the toys there, because I know the owner. He makes sure all toys are phthalate free and in porn free packaging.

How to Orgasm With a Vibrator

Once you have chosen the toy you want to try, then it is time to experiment. Here’s a few things to keep in mind when using this type of stimulation.

Use Lubrication

To keep you from being irritated or overly stimulated, apply lubrication to the toy. Whatever lube you generally use should be fine. Coat the toy with the lube and place some on your vagina and clitoris as well.

Start Slow

There are different speeds on a vibrator. Depending on what you purchased, there may even be different patterns and motions. Whatever you do, start off with a slow vibration. You can always go up on intensity if it isn’t hard enough.

Move The Toy Around

Another way to help your body build up to the stimulation is to move the toy around instead of keeping it in place. Teasing can be helpful when you are getting started. Although, I wouldn’t recommend teasing once you get really excited, because it might wreck your momentum.

Light touches work well at the beginning, because it helps to build excitement. If you are getting over stimulated from the toy, back off the speed and reduce the pressure. You might even need to take it off of yourself completely.

Increase the Speed

As you warm up, the sensations should begin to build. Let your husband know when to increase the speed and how much. If the speed is too much for you, then pull the toy away from your clitoris a bit. That will keep the intensity down as you build up more.

Add Foreplay

If you or your spouse is using a hand held toy, then you should consider adding in some foreplay. Ask him to do other things you enjoy besides just using the toy. These acts will increase the sensations and help you to reach orgasm.

Try Different Positions

You might want to start out lying on your back. That will let you be comfortable as you get warmed up. If it just isn’t doing enough, then get on your knees and let your husband reach you from behind. Standing up may be a good position for you as well. Each position you get into will give you a different sensation, so explore what works best.

You might want to-

  • put a pillow under you butt if you are lying on the bed
  • lean back while standing up
  • pull the lips of your vagina open and up to expose more of your clitoris

Look at What’s Happening

look at your spouse giving your an orgasm

One of the best things about using toys is it allows you to see what’s going on. This means you need the lights up and get into a position you can see. Rely on mirrors if you need to. If you don’t have a well place mirror, then use the camera on your phone to look into. (I wouldn’t recommend recording if your phone automatically backs up to the cloud- I’m thinking no one wants Sex Tape to become a reality for them).

Experiment With The Toy on Yourself

I don’t recommend you getting off by yourself to experiment with your toy. What I’m suggesting is that you let your husband watch you pleasing yourself. I recognize that this is very vulnerable and something you’ll have to get comfortable with over time. But, it’s really good for you to push yourself to let your spouse see you losing control.

Using the toy on yourself and letting your husband watch you can give him ideas of what you need. Communication is also really important. If you need him to do something for you, then tell him.

Try More Than One Toy

If you don’t respond well to one toy, it might not be you. It could be that you have a toy that isn’t strong enough for your, or it is too strong. Consider getting another toy before you give up on being able to orgasm with them.

Know What to Expect

It is very possible that the first time you use a vibrator will be the best experience you have with the toy. Generally, when you try anything for the first time, you will have the greatest experience, because it is new. Don’t feel discouraged if the times thereafter are not as good. You can still enjoy using a vibrator.

Why Use a Vibrator?

There are a lot of scenarios in which vibrators can come in handy. Here’s a few ideas of when you might want to get it out-

  • During periods– if you don’t like having sex on your period, then a vibrator can make for a great solution. You can use it on your clitirous without taking out your tampon or Dutchess Cup.
  • On vacation– if you take a family vacation where you have to share a room with your kids, a vibrator can really come in handy. Many are waterproof (not all), so your spouse can use it while you are in the shower. Having sex standing up may not cause you to orgasm, so this will help you.
  • When you are on pelvic rest- after you have a baby, there are several weeks where you aren’t supposed to be penetrated. A toy used just on your clitirous can help you orgasm without hurting yourself. If you are put on pelvic rest for the sake of a UTI, you may not want to use a toy. That’s a question for your doctor.
  • If you’re struggling to orgasm– often times, women incorporate toys if they are struggling to orgasm at all. If your hormones have taken a dip, it can make it much more difficult to reach climax. The same is true if you are in a season where you are overly tired. This can give you a short term solution to bond with your spouse.

Should You Use A Toy Regularly?

This is all a personal opinion here, but I think that you should figure out how to orgasm in many different ways. Once you figure out how to climax one way consistently, then you should add in variety. Here’s why you should learn to reach the Big O different ways-

  • Won’t get bored- I know it sounds crazy that you would get bored from having this type of physical pleasure, but it happens. If you and your spouse have the same exact routine every time you make love, it is going to get boring. That is why being able to climax in different positions and with different methods is helpful.
  • More flexible– if you rely on only one way to get there, then you are limiting yourself. It won’t always be appropriate to pull out a vibrator. Or you may not have space to get into the sex position you really enjoy. That’s why it is a good idea to expand your abilities.
  • Become a master at sex– when you and your spouse have to figure out new positions and ways to orgasm, you get better at sex. Mastering physical intimacy is a lifetime commitment. You never know what you’ll grow to love over time.

Hopefully these tips will help you to orgasm with your purchase. If you have any particular questions, be sure to send me a message at Keelie@lovehopeadventure.com and I will work to find an answer for you.

A Sneak Preview of Our Next Bedroom Game

You guys have been asking when we would release our next sexy bedroom game for couples, and we are almost there. We are putting the finishing touches on the game and plan to submit it to the designer this week. Normally, Austin designs the games, but this time, we are bringing on some help so we can get it out to you faster.

There are big things coming that I want to tell you about. We are about to open our Love Hope Adventure Community, which is a private group where we are inviting our followers to join us. This will be a subscription based group where we will charge a small monthly fee of $7 to be a part. Also, you’ll get access to our Intimacy in Marriage eCourse.

We are going to do a private invitation to that private group with free entrance next week. We aren’t ready to start charging yet, so if you want to get in on the group for a few weeks free, be sure to sign up for the newsletter below. This is where I’ll send out the private invites.

Once the Love May I Bedroom Game is released, we will send a copy of it to this mailing list. So, be sure to get on it if you want the first look at it.

I Don’t Feel Sexy Anymore- This is What I’m Doing to Change That

I got really honest on my Facebook live today. I talked about how I am struggling to feel sexy with my recent body changes and what I’m doing about it.

I know you’ve felt this way about your body at some point. You’ve no doubt aged, had kids, or whatever other life factors have contributed to body changes.

For me, I lost a crap ton of weight. I’m smaller now than I was in my teenage years. I know you’re probably thinking, wow I hate you, but I want to let you know that losing tons of weight does not mean you’ll have better self esteem.

Body Changes Always Affect You

I went into my favorite store two days in a row looking for new clothes. They were having a major clearance sale- and do you know how many things I found that fit me? Zero. I tried on 50 things, and not a single thing worked.

(Btw- this was a nice dress, but it was pretty impractical for my daily life, so I left it there. However, I have a wedding to attend in a few weeks, and I kinda wish I had it now.)

Yeah- I walked away pretty discouraged. Since my body has changed shapes (for like the 3rd time in my life now) I’m struggling to know what I look sexy in.

Want to know how I’m doing about it? I asked Austin. He’s the one I want to sexually attract- so it seems to make sense.

It’s time you believe your spouse. When they tell you that you look hot, sexy, handsome, beautiful…believe them. Stop trying to read into every word or gesture. Just take them at their word.

I’ve had many readers write in and tell me that they do not think their spouse finds them attractive. Unless they are married to an absolute jerk (which they may be), that’s probably not the case. If your spouse is generally kind, caring, and loving towards you, you can bet your sweet Bippy they are probably telling you the truth about the way you look.

Don’t know what you look sexy in?

Time to ask your spouse. Stop worrying about what Instagram thinks sexy looks like. Stop comparing yourself to unrealistic photoshopped ads. Quit the porn….quit all the porn.

Instead, lean into your spouse. They know what they like- and that’s you.

Other things on my mind today-

I was talking with the owner at Married Dance about what I should put in a honeymoon basket I’m making for a couple that’s getting married in a few weeks. While we were talking, he told me that many people love the to buy their wedge pillows. These are triangle shaped pillows that help you out with different sex positions.

Hopefully you have a fabulous week! I look forward to talk to you again soon.

If you haven’t signed up for my newsletter, be sure to click the link below and do that now. I’ll send you my free truth or dare game.

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